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  Dream Number: #184
Dream Type: Death Dream
Date Posted: 4/24/2007

SkyGirl from remembers this:

I had an upsetting dream last night. I was in the house I grew up in, but I was alone there. All of a sudden I realized I was dead, but I was IN my body. My body was actually going into rigamortis (sp?) and my skin was turning black and it smelled. I was so upset to realize this. I couldn't believe it. At first I sank into depression about it, but then I thought that maybe I could bring myself back to life somehow. But then when I walked by a mirror and I saw my face, I realized I was too far gone. Also, my image in the mirror was always different than what I was doing. Like, if I was facing left, in the mirror I'd be facing a little bit off from that direction. Anyway, then a crazy guy came into the house because he didn't think anyone was there. But then another crazy guy came in to get him out. I was thinking that I could maybe scare him out of the house with how I looked. I don't remember if I interacted with those guys or not, but their presence did scare me a bit... it felt intrusive. I don't remember how it ended either. The feeling of physical death, my physical death, has stayed with me all day. I can almost smell it. I feel it in my stomach. Help me understand this dream!! Why was I IN my body? Shouldn't I have at least had an out-of-body experience? (I've had those kinds of dreams before, but never IN my rotting body!!!)


Replies from the dreamer:

I have to add this other dream as I feel like they are almost "bookends" to each other. About 15 years ago I had the only other dream like this one which involved me being conscious of my own death. I was some sort of being, a grey mass that floated around and ate things. There was a group of us. Well, I was in the backyard of the house that I grew up in and it had been raining for months, everything was grey and wet. It almost looked like there was a lot of loss of life. There were even army tanks going up the residential street. So here I am, this grey mass, floating around eating things... I think we ate the insides of bodies that were dead. Anyway, I was eating the heart of this one body and for some reason I drifted up to the face. I noticed the face had freckles and that remided me that I once had freckles. I thought to myself, "these freckles aren't so ugly afterall" and then I backed up enough to realize that that face was MINE. I was eating the insides of MY OWN BODY! I sobbed from the deepest part of my soul. I just looked at my face and kept thinking "why was I so hard on myself? I was pretty!" as I sobbed and sobbed. The sobbing woke me up out of this dream, from a very deep sleep, and I sobbed for about an hour after that. The feeling from that dream has stayed with me all those years. And so dreaming this dream that I had last night, where I was IN my dead body feels significant and somehow possibly connected to this previous dream. I really welcome any ideas. I feel like I'm too close to this one to make sense of it.

(Added: 4/24/2007)


 
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